[ 03.05.2012 - I f**king hate myself ]

I just realize that I am so insensitive, just don't know how to read the mood ...

Yesterday, it was so fun, i even promised that I will be more sensitive ... but today I screwed the whole things up, things already set up but i just refused it in a very insensitive way (ahhhhhhhhh shjt me), when i realize it: it was too late ... ahhh shjt ... it's not easy to close the gap but i just widen it up ... God, why I hate myself so much ... let's see

- should go to utown - no
- should reply sms - no
- should mark report - no
- should sit opposite - no (oh shjttt, what was i thinking?????)

Now trying to fix the thing but guess the answer will be a no ... god why i'm so stupid ... what can i do now?

... looking at this pic just reminds me a lot of fun ... will i ever see the cutest photo again ... awhh ... oh god sake ... will go to sleep now ... ... ... ... ...

cannot sleep, shjt ...

Update: failllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll ..... guess the gap now is infinite alr lah ... will be super awkward next time we meet .... oh for god sake ... been thinking very carefully but still fail, can't help but laughing at myself ... ok will stick with plan B for tmr, what's that boring plan B?
- morning go to utown for summer application
- after that stick in lib (will have to finish les6) ...
- in the afternoon back to lab for the skew DR paper, try to finish the introduction (literature review) part by tmr ...
- tmr night ... go to clementi mall to buy stuffs ...
ok, guess that the boring plan for tmr :< ...

sighhhh ... guess i will keep remaining as a nerd for some more time ... life is a bitch, isn't it? no matter how hard you try then you fail ... oppsy, it's a different topic alr.

Well, will keep my chin up and to think of it, of course in that situation i would definitely fail ... but hopefully it gives me the (painful) experience for the future ... suddenly feel like i'm so desperate and pathetic ... guess tough time is waiting for me ... but i will not just be inactive, I will evolve and adapt, it's just let see how well I can do ... (yes, I am really desperate and pathetic :<)

shjtttt, still feel shjt, u should have just rejected me from the very beginning ... is it a sign? ... oh god sake, i am thinking too much again ... guess i will take some water then sleep ...

... ... ... ... lah lah lah ... shjt ... haha, just can't stop laughing at myself ... ...