For a week, what happens? Everyday meeting with boss, but I cannot seem to focus on doing research ... Usually I think of her ... no good, but I also think of swimming ... I also try to study English class in a serious way ...
well, about English class, it is "writing thesis" class, I need to write a lot (Context, Literature Review ...) and I found out that I'm still far from qualifying for writing my own thesis ... I feel very down ... Next week I will need to see the tutor for 20minutes to talk about my writing while others only need 10minutes ... I'm always kinda proud about my English but then again ... guess I still over-estimate myself ...
about my research, I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing now ... I feel like I just do what my boss asks me to ... And basically I feel it kinda wrong and boring, but I don't dare to stand up against my boss ... I feel that he feels my laziness ... later I will submit my progress report, dunno what he will comment, last time he commented very positive but I don't think this time he will do so ...
about my life, kinda stupid anyway, I feel like I'm chasing something that unreachable ... I always like challenging but every-time I hear the word "NO" I feel extremely upset ... I know that "no" is the most demoralizing word in English vocabulary, but still accepting it is a big problem ... and everytime I hear it I just wanna give up ... Now I dunno if i should give up or not ... guess I will stick with my plan ...
about other, last time my friend come to Singapore for 2 days, so I let her use my room (I went out to sleep in living room), and I found out that she's kind of a messy person. She is my high-school classmate, I rmb during high-school time, we were kinda close (not sure) ... but now I feel like now we are very different at thinking, maybe we are both too old but my mind is still young (is it?) and she also keeps questioning me that I stay here for long why I didn't go there, there or there ... I think in mind that I like doing what I want and I only enjoy going shopping and eating :D, and maybe that's why when we go around some shopping malls in Singapore I bought lot more stuffs than her =.= Now she left for Vietnam alr ... guess will c her next time when we have high-school class reunion ...
well, let c what's for next week?
I will need to write the "aims and rationale" for English class ...
tmr meeting, feel kinda weird facing her ...
lot of GA next week, one of them is 3302 for undergrad students, will be very tired explaining to them ...
what's else? not sure, will go swimming and having my hair cut ...
Now I feel interested in "random matrices" because I like one professor working on that field (Terence Tao), so hopefully I can understand some from it ...
I will also try to manage my time to study some Chinese as well ...
Let me hope for a better week :)
Update my face, it's been so long ...
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