14.4 a rainy day

14.4 a rainy day

Waiting at pgp bus stop for bus btc to Evans Lodge, it's been raining for a whole afternoon, feel kinda sad,

Today I join a safety class which my prof asks me to and he also attended. The safety class quite fun, the guider is very humorous. But after class I return back to normal.

Decided to go to Pgp to buy food for my friend as she couldn't eat any food in Engineering canteen. Looking her ill I just feel sorry for her. A pleasure moment paid by a series of consequences, but it's her choice, I believe she's gonna get over it but the response from her parents and her husband just make me feel sick. Is it a normal acts or is it because I expect too much from people?

But maybe it's because they're not around her. Maybe when she comes back for her big event, they will change their mind when they see her.

Oh fu*k, previous bus I go 2 minutes earlier but still miss, but now 3mins have been late and the btc bus is nowhere to be seen.

Just hop in btc bus, it's quite full but I can find a seat for me. Thanks god. Yesterday, when reorganizing all the photos, I just discover something funny and when I rearrange all the events it just all makes sense. I see their relationship has been so close for long time ago. It also means she kept lying to me for a long time. It makes me really really sad, I can only sleep at very late and even in my dream I see the sh*t thing.

She should know lying is the enemy of love, if she knew it before, things wouldn't have been so complicated like now.

Haizz, since things already happened I still have too much feeling for her, I cannot just see her like that. But the fact that her parents and her husband only care about the wedding and the way outside people look at them just makes me wanna vomit. Her husband invited a lot of people especially from their former company, somehow it's just like he wants to pronounce to all the people that he totally wins over me. But there must be a reason, and everything mustn't like what I see now as it's never been before.

Sometimes think back about her time. I just find out something funny. Before coming to Singapore her husband played part of close friend helping her prepare to come here with me ... And now I'm playing part of close friend helping her to go back to marry him ... Yeah I know what you're thinking, life is a bitch, ain't it?

But no matter how I try to see the problem, I can never feel better. Why life is always so unfair to me? I did a lot of things, I always am faithful but why in the end I have to cheer for their happiness ...

Haizz, maybe because I'm just a stupid shit-head ... Maybe that's the only explanation.

Just arrived to Evans Lodge, shit, I need to stay calm, man, I just need to find a reason to do so ...

Just have a peep in her notebook (literally), seems like she has a lot of plans for herself, but now it's all over. I also notice that the way she called me had been changing through time as she has stronger relation with her husband now ... really feel sorry for her that she fails all the plans she wrote, but maybe the way she did now is a plan that in her mind ... I really don't know ...

Just feel so sad and extremely down ...